- Directed by Jordan Rubin
- Written by Al Kaplan, Jordan Rubin, Jon Kaplan
- Stars Rachel Melvin, Cortney Palm, Lexi Atkins, Hutch Dano
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 17 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5-1XTjYZC8
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This one does a good job doling out horrifying and hilarious in equal measure. As the title hints, normally harmless beavers become killer beasts. They cause some real trouble for a group of young friends. We liked the grim, silly fun of it quite a bit.
Synopsis
We watch as two guys drive a truck full of medical waste stuff. They hit a deer, and one of the canisters falls off the truck into the river. Credits roll as we follow the canister downriver, where it ends near a beaver nest.
Jenn, Zoe, and Mary are going away for the weekend with their dog Bugsy. They’re all going to Mary’s cousin’s cabin in the woods.
We cut to a kid out fishing. He loses his rod, and then something jumps him from the woods.
Mrs. Gregorson comes over to meet the new girls. They soon find out there’s no cell service in the cabin, which is a major disaster for the college girls.
They waste no time going skinny-dipping. We see the fishing guy’s hat float by. They notice that there’s a beaver dam on the lake. They don’t see the biohazard tank on the other side of the dam. They don’t see any beavers, but they do see a big bear. Mr. Smyth shoots at the bear and runs it off. He warns them that beavers aren’t cuddly little animals; “they’ll mess you up.”
That night, there’s a knock outside the cabin. They all go outside to investigate and accidentally get locked out. It’s just Tommy, Sam, and Buck, their unwanted boyfriends. Jenn and Sam had a recent argument, so she’s not enthused but allows them to stay. Everyone goes inside, and there’s some sex and stuff.
Jenn enters the bathroom and finds a very angry beaver in the bathtub. Everyone goes to look, and they beat it to death with a baseball bat. They all assume it had rabies. Later, we see the dead beaver still moving.
In the morning, we see Mr. Smythe outside, setting traps. The six vacationers all head back to the lake again, even after encountering a “rabid” beaver. Soon, they’re all swimming in the beaver lake again. Sam and Mary talk about him cheating on Jenn– with Mary.
Suddenly, something bites Buck’s foot off. They all swim to the raft except for Jenn, who returns to the cabin to call for help. Of course, the beavers have chewed through the phone lines. Sam throws Zoe’s dog into the water as a distraction, and the beavers quickly eat it. They all swim for the shore while the beavers are busy. Meanwhile, Jenn fights one in the kitchen.
They all run into the house, which zombie beavers now surround. Zoe tells Jenn about Mary and Sam. The “dead” zombie in the kitchen is cut to pieces, but it won’t stop moving.
Tommy carries Buck to the car with Zoe in tow. They get inside and drive off. They soon find a tree down across the only road out. It looks a lot like a beaver chewed it down. Tommy is soon killed by the beavers dropping another tree on him. Meanwhile, the Gregorsons next door hear the noise and wonder about investigating.
Smythe rescues Zoe and Buck from the beavers. Jenn, Mary, and Sam barricade the house to keep the insane, unkillable animals from breaking in. Smythe talks about “beaver fever” from back in the 70s.
Since they can’t get into Mary’s boarded-up cabin, Smyth, Zoe, and Buck make it to the Gregorsons. They find the Gregorsons dead and a phone with the cord chewed through.
Jenn comes into Mary’s room and climbs on top of her. Then, she mutates into a giant beaver. Yes, she got bit. Sam knocks her over the head and locks her in the bedroom. In the other house, Smythe and Zoe try to cauterize Buck’s leg wound– until Buck turns into a beaver and bites Smythe’s face off.
Mary and Sam play whack-a-mole with beavers tunneling up through the floor. They lock themselves in the bathroom and get naked because why wouldn’t they? Outside, a beaver sets the house on fire. Suddenly, Jenn breaks through the floor and bites Sam right where she wanted to bite him all along.
Zoe runs Smythe’s truck through the wall, and Mary climbs in. Zombeaver Smythe shoots at them, and they crash the truck. Then they stop a zom-BEAR in the woods.
Mary and Zoe get away. Mary thinks Zoe’s been bitten since she’s covered in blood, but Mary changes all of a sudden, so Zoe hits her repeatedly with an ax. Zoe eventually gets run over by the same guys in the hazardous waste truck as before.
Be sure to wait through the outtakes to hear the closing theme song.
Commentary
It’s a different kind of cabin-in-the-woods story. The zombie beavers are one thing, but the human-turned-beavers are really something. The makeup on Jenn-beaver is really good. I thought it started off pretty lame, but once Jenn became a beaver, it all got more interesting quickly.
It’s dumb, but another of those so-dumb-that-it’s-pretty-entertaining films.