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Posted By: brian@brianschell.com June 1, 2022

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

It’s a movie within a movie as a group of youngsters making a porno find out they’re in a whole lot of trouble. It’s one of those endings-shown-first movies, then we get to see the details of what led to that point. The cast is all very good, as is the script. It’s well worth the watch, much better than either of us expected going into it.

Synopsis

Several police cars are in front of an old farmhouse. The sheriff goes in, and there’s blood and gore everywhere. The sheriff and officers find something in the cellar…

24 Hours earlier, in Houston, a group of strippers get into a van and go on a field trip to make a porn movie. It’s 1979, so there are refineries everywhere. Maxine wants to be famous, and she thinks this may be her big break. Wayne says she “got that X factor.”

RJ and Lorraine are the film crew. RJ swears “it’s possible to make a good dirty movie.” Wayne is the director, Jackson, Bobby-Lynne, and Maxine are the talent. They’re heading out to the country to film the new porno, “The Farmer’s Daughter.” Eventually, we see them pull up and park at the house we saw earlier, so we already know this isn’t going to end well.

Wayne knocks on the door, and Howard comes to the door… with a shotgun. Howard thinks Wayne’s from the county, which is bad. Wayne explains that they are there about the boarding house. Howard’s a creepy old guy, and he warns the others to behave themselves, something they have no intention of obeying. Wayne never told the old man the reason for their visit.

They get down to the business end of making a porno. RJ and Lorraine film the action while Bobby-Lynne and Jackson go at it. Maxine goes for a walk while the others “work” and someone watches her from inside the woods. She goes for a swim, and we see an alligator is there as well, and she narrowly avoids being eaten. Afterward, she goes to the farmhouse, where she sees an old woman, Pearl, Howard’s wife. They have a creepy conversation.

Howard gets home and finds evidence that Pearl wasn’t alone in the house. The rest of the gang moves into the barn, where Maxine has to milk a cow for the camera. It’s then Maxine’s turn to have a go with Jackson on camera. As they film, Maxine sees Pearl peeking in through the window. Pearl gets “in the mood” and goes inside and wants sex from Howard, but he refuses because of his heart.

That evening, Bobby-Lynne and Maxine give their point of view about sex and porn to Lorraine, who’s inexperienced and a little prudish. Wayne exclaims that the new, growing home video market is going to blow the market sky high. “Porn ain’t gonna be just for perverts any more!” We then get a musical interlude from Jackson and Bobby-Lynne crosscut with ancient old Pearl getting ready for bed. When Lorraine decides she wants to be in the film, RJ refuses to allow her to get involved. Wayne takes her side, but RJ thinks Lorraine “is a nice girl.”

Lorraine gets her scene, but RJ cries afterwards. RJ gets mad and takes the van, abandoning everyone else. He sees Pearl standing outside and gets out to see what’s wrong. “Look at me like you looked at her,” she moans. He’s pretty turned off by the old woman, so she stabs him in the throat— over and over and over. She then does a little old-lady ballet dancing.

Lorraine notices that RJ is missing, and she and Wayne go out searching. She runs into Howard, who is out looking for Pearl. Wayne, in bare feet, has an encounter with a rusty nail. He soon finds out that’s not the worst part of his night when he runs into Pearl and her pitchfork.

Howard sends Lorraine into the basement after a flashlight. She finds it, no problem, but then gets locked in. She then finds the body Wayne chained from the ceiling.

Jackson sees Howard outside and asks what’s going on. “She gets confused after dark sometimes,” the old man explains. Jackson offers to help in the search. Meanwhile, Pearl slips into Maxine’s room and undresses before slipping into bed with her.

Jackson finds an old car half-sunk in the pond (ala “Psycho”). Howard starts in on Jackson about “enticing my wife” and then shoots him.

Lorraine finds a hatchet and goes to work on the door, but Howard returns and cuts some of her fingers off.

Maxine wakes up and finds Pearl asleep next to her and screams. Bobby-Lynne runs in to help and passes Pearl on the way out. Bobby-Lynne goes outside looking for Jackson, but finds Pearl again. Bobby-Lynne gets to her first, and Pearl pushes her into the pond, where the alligator finally gets fed.

Howard and Pearl come into the house looking for Maxine. They decide to try to have old—people sex as Maxine hides under the bed. Maxine crawls out and gets the gun from the van. She hears Lorraine screaming inside and goes in after her. Lorraine runs outside and is immediately shot by Howard,who talks to Pearl about dumping the bodies in the pond. Howard says Lorraine’s body is heavier than she looks and then has a heart attack and dies on the spot.

Maxine confronts Pearl with the pistol. She fires, but the gun isn’t loaded. Pearl’s on the other hand, is loaded, but it doesn’t go the way anyone expected.

Maxine grabs the keys, gets in the van and finishes Pearl off. She drives away.

We then watch the creepy old TV preacher talking about his missing daughter, who is Maxine.

Commentary

How is it that we can watch tens of thousands of people die in zombie apocalypses and stuff and cringe so badly when one guy steps on a nail barefoot?

Probably due to the time period and setting, it’s very reminiscent of “The Texas Chainsw Massacre” (1974). I’m sure that’s no coincidence. I have no idea how porno films of the 70s were made, but I’d bet it was exactly like this. In most horror films, the “final girl” is the one who has no sex. In this film, the two who don’t have sex are the ones who die first.

Who knew old people could be so horrifying just by being old? There are some things old people shouldn’t be doing, and this film demonstrates that all too clearly. Maxine and Pearl were both played by Mia Goth in a dual role. The old age makeup is horrible, or maybe just horrific, making Pearl far scarier than a real old woman ever could be.