Director: Tom Six
Writer: Tom Six
Stars: Dieter Laser, Laurence R. Harvey, Eric Roberts
Run Time: 1 Hour, 42 Minutes
Amazon Link: https://amzn.to/38CheM0
Synopsis
We watch Martin stumble out of the warehouse: it’s the end of the second film. We pull back, and it’s yet another film being shown. This time, it’s being watched by Warden Bill Boss and his Assistant, Dwight, played by the same guys who played Dr. Heiter in the first film and Martin in the second film. Their prison has one of the highest turnover rates in the country.
The warden has the most German accent I’ve ever heard from a so-called “Texan.” He demands respect, and he doesn’t care who he has to hurt to get it. He wants to bring back medieval torture for prisoners. He has some really interesting new ideas in prison management, all involving pain and torture. Dwight keeps trying to explain that he knows how to solve all their problems, but the warden doesn’t want to listen.
The warden is, in fact, one of the most over-the-top-hilarious lunatics I’ve ever seen in a horror film. Dwight, on the other hand, seems almost ridiculously normal after his performance in the second film.
Before long, they get the word that the governor is going to be arriving for a visit this afternoon. That comes after the boiling-water water-boarding session. The governor doesn’t like Warden Boss, and he wants him gone. He’ll return in two weeks, but he wants to see changes at that time.
We watch the warden waterboard a guy, cut off one’s testicles before strangling him, breaking some arms, and more fun stuff. He keeps blaming the heat for violence. Dwight asks the doctor to watch the Human Centipede films, and the doctor says he already has– “They’re really good!”
Dwight finally suggests turning all the prisoners into a human centipede. How could the criminals cause any more trouble like that? It’s the ultimate deterrent to crime.
Dwight calls Tom Six, the producer and director of the films to come and talk to the warden. He and the doctor talk, the doctor says, “Yeah, I can do this.” Dwight suggests a few refinements that would allow for the release of prisoners eventually. Tom Six insists on watching one of the real surgeries.
They show the films to the prisoners, explaining that this is in store for them, and they go berserk. The prison staff finally gets that under control, and then the surgeries start. There are multiple teams of doctors working around the clock, but they finally finish. There’s even an extra-special amputee version of the “centipede” for the prisoners with life sentences.
The governor arrives, and the warden is ready for him. They go outside and see the Human Prison Centipede. The governor is not impressed; this is all completely illegal and unethical. Then, he has second thoughts– it’s just perfect!
Commentary
This is so ridiculously overacted that there’s just nothing else that compares. Dieter Laser just had no restraint whatsoever, and he seems to have simply said anything and everything that came to mind. And whenever he couldn’t do a Texas accent, he just yelled louder. Seriously, I could only make out 30% of whatever the hell he was yelling but it was all funny.
It’s the least scary and the least gory of the series, but it’s easily the funniest. This wasn’t really marketed as a parody of the first two films, but it clearly was filmed that way. It’s still fun to watch, but it’s nothing like the others.