- Directed by Kevin O’Neill
- Written by Matt Yamashita
- Stars Casper Van Dien, Catherine Oxenberg, Jennifer Wenger
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 25 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTJ4Cv5ktE
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This one was a step down from the previous sequel but a half step above the original. This one emphasized the humor a lot more than the first two movies, and that boosts the watchability. It’s silly and dumb, but fun in an entertaining way.
Spoilery Synopsis
We open on a burial at sea. Ray Brady wonders why this is all happening on his boat; Pablo rented out the boat for a funeral, and Ray makes a big scene. Suddenly, Sharktopus attacks the boat and steals the body, coffin and all. “Tell me they prepaid,” asks Ray before he’s arrested for manslaughter.
Inspector Nita Morales talks to Ray about getting out of jail; “This time, you’re on your own,” when he describes what attacked the boat.
Meanwhile, at the Reinhardt anti-aging clinic, Dr. Elsa Reinhardt works on gene sequencing to make Felix Rosa, an old ball player, able to play again. She warns that there “may be a few side effects.” She takes him to her secret lab, and it’s really something. She talks about the speed and power of wolves and then throws the switch…
Inspector Nita watches two drunk women attacked on the sidewalk by the Sharktopus.
Pablo bails out Ray with the help of Chief Tiny, a Voodoo priest. He wants to know about the creature, and he knows all about Sharktopus, who even has a Twitter account now. He wants the Sharktopus’s heart for his Voodoo stuff— before noon tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Elsa turns Felix into a corpse, as the experiment fails impressively. She dumps his body in the ocean to get rid of it. As his body sinks, it starts to change. He growls and takes a bite out of her, which she really likes. His human DNA is rapidly disintegrating, and this might have something to do with moonlight.
In the morning, Nita joins Ray and Pablo to hunt the tentacled shark monster. At the Reinhardt Institute, Elsa brags to Nurse Betty about her success last night. Then Felix, who has turned into a full-on Whalewolf, kills the nurse.
Ray finds and “tags” the Sharktopus, which fights back. The Whalewolf, on shore, sees the action and comes to play. The two creatures fight as Ray tries to keep Pablo from molesting the unconscious Nita. They stop and watch a relationship-reality show that’s filming right here in town.
Meanwhile, on the actual show, they’re filming the next episode of a “Bachelor”-style show— at least until the shark shows up and eats the contestants.
Dr. Elsa scolds the Whalewolf, calling him a failure. She tries to train him like a dog, to pee on the pad, which he also refuses to do. Not far away, Sharktopus eats some gang members just as the Whalewolf arrives. This results in another ridiculous CGI monster battle.
Pablo and Ray make plans to leave the country, but Chief Tiny does some Voodoo to convince them not to run.
The reality show starts shooting a new scene, while the bachelor has to pick a date from the surviving women. The Whalewolf kills the director and the other women contestants as well.
Nita looks up Sharktopus online, but can’t find much on the Whalewolf, but she does get a lead that points to Dr. Elsa, who used to work for Blue Water, the lab that created Sharktopus. At the lab, Dr. Elsa calls the humane society to give up her “dog.” Whalewolf catches on and kills her.
When Nita and her partner arrive at the lab, they find the wolf. Ray takes Chief Tiny a piece of tentacle, which mostly pacifies him. There’s a whole thing about cockfighting and Tiny’s big, tough, cock.
Ray and Pablo get a call from Nita, who’s pinned down by the Whalewolf. She’s been bitten, but they get her away. There’s a quick car chase that leads the Whalewolf to the docks, where Sharktopus awaits. The two enemies go at it once again— in the town square.
Nita has Elsa’s laptop and reads through her records. They know Felix Rosa was involved and may even be the Whalewolf. Ray suggests that Chief Tiny might be able to use his Voodoo to control Sharktopus.
Tiny already has a Sharktopus Voodoo doll. He sends his goons to kill Ray, but Ray has stolen the shark doll. Ray uses his Kung-Fu Ninja Ju-Ju skills against the goons and gets away.
Nita and Pablo go to the baseball stadium and rig up a net for the monsters. Meanwhile, Ray and Sharktopus shake hands and become buddies—sorta.
Sharktopus chases Ray through the mall toward the baseball stadium, where Whalewolf awaits. Nita calls in an air strike from the Air Force, and they get right on that. Pablo electrifies the fence to contain them.
Sharktopus gets electrocuted and Whalewolf gets blown up in the air strike. Ray and Nita kiss as Pablo plays music in the stadium.
We cut to Chief Tiny’s sister, who is doing something Voodooie with a Sharktopus tentacle…
Commentary
Casper Van Dien divorced Catherine Oxenberg in 2015, the year that this film was released, and married Jennifer Wenger, the woman who played Nurse Betty.
Catherine Oxenberg’s German accent is 200% pure evil Nazi scientist, but not especially well done. This whole thing leans far more into the pure comedy side of things than the first two movies. With this in mind, it looks good and has good dialogue and acting. It’s all completely one big in-joke, and it’s well done.
It’s not a great movie by any stretch, but it’s well-made and actually funny in places.