Director: Steven Kostanski
Writer: Steven Kostanski
Stars: Nita-Josee Hanna, Owen Myre, Matthew Ninaber
Run Time: 1 Hour, 35 Minutes
Synopsis
We get an ominous VoiceOver, then we cut to two kids, Mimi and Luke, playing a weird variation of dodgeball. That night, they dig a huge hole, where they find a glowing light in a device. Mimi presses buttons and takes the glowing jewel. They get creeped out and fill in the hole. They both ask their parents about monsters, and of course, they explain “Monsters aren’t real.” They both go to bed at nine o’clock.
Luke thinks they woke up grandma, who died not long ago. Mimi explains it’s not grandma. We see a hand rise out of the hole— was it a grave? The risen monster encounters a trio of robbers and makes a gory mess of them.
Mimi and Luke and their parents find the hole the monster came out of, and the two kids decide to track down what crawled out of the hole. They find him, but he’s not what they expected. He gives his supervillain monologue, but when Mimi’s crystal starts to glow, she takes charge of the monster. She names him Psycho Goreman (PG), although he prefers “Archduke of Nightmares.” Apparently, Psycho Goreman must obey whoever owns the crystal. He continues to threaten eternal suffering, but they don’t care.
Meanwhile, across the galaxy, a council of aliens wonder who could have cracked the site to release the Archduke. This particular council of aliens would put the Power Rangers to shame. One of them, Templar Pandora, turns into a human form to track down the escaped alien monster.
Meanwhile, the kids ask questions of PG, and he tells them his story. The Templars had enslaved his people, but he found the gem which gave him super powers. Later, he was defeated by the Templars and they took the gem and hid it. Mimi orders PG to watch a bunch of cartoons and learn how to be nicer. Instead, PG used the tv to call his homeworld and summons reinforcements from his own people.
Mimi introduces Psycho Goreman to her parents and friends, and that goes badly. He turns their friend Alisdair into a giant, tentacled brain thing. Then they make PG play drums in their band. Cue the tweens-having-fun-times-with-killer-alien montage.
PG comes to Luke in a dream to persuade him to get the crystal away from Mimi. The next day, while playing dodgeball, PG melts a cop.
Meanwhile, Pandora arrives on Earth and reads the mind of the surviving policeman. PG’s allies arrive as well, and they’re a cartoony-looking bunch. His gang isn’t particularly happy to see him; they were happy with how things were before PG’s release. Things go badly for PG until he gets permission from Mimi to fight back.
PG is seriously wounded, and Mimi and her father take him to hide from Pandora. PG can only regain his strength by possessing the crystal. Meanwhile, Pandora reveals her true form and gives Susan, Mimi’s mother something to drink that changes her into a woman in a rubber suit too!
Finally, it’s time for the big battle between Mimi and Luke, Susan and Greg, and Pandora and Psycho Goreman, but they have to play by Mimi’s rules. Yes, it’s a big game of weird and complicated dodgeball, and the winner gets the universe. Then they all break out in a chorus of the “Frig Off! Frig Yourself!” song.
Will PG learn a valuable lesson about family? Or will he destroy the galaxy? Could he do both?
Commentary
This is just a weird movie. It’s a comedy. It’s a kids’ movie. It’s a gory horror. It’s Power-Rangers-meets-Troma. It’s a lot of things.
Every time PG talks, it’s some over-the-top threat or vow or monologue or flashback to some episodes battle of the past, but he never gets to finish anything because kids are so much worse than he is. This is why, as a super powered entity, you should never tie your powers into a maguffin, whether it be a horcrux, ring of power, or red-glowing crystal; it never ends well. PG is a great character, but the movie is really hurt by the insufferably spoiled Mimi, who is the most annoying little shit ever filmed. This kid is supposed to be the heroine, but I kept rooting for PG to turn her into jelly sooner, rather than later.
This film walks a fine line between being really high quality and looking very low budget. They really took the look of Power Rangers and went full campy-comedy-horror with it. It’s way too gory for kids, but it still feels like a kids’ story.
It’s got a lot of silly rubber suits, cheesy sets, and ridiculous humor, but overall it’s all really, really well done. And strangely entertaining.