Kratt (2020)

Posted By: brian@brianschell.com October 12, 2022

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

Children are left at Grandma’s without smartphones. Real life seems boring, working feels hard. Luckily they find instructions for Kratt – a magical creature from old Estonian mythology who will do whatever its master says. All they have to do now is buy a soul from the Devil! Life stops being boring in a bloody way…

Synopsis

It’s 1895, and we watch someone with wild hair killing people. “Give me work!” he demands. He kills everyone. Credits roll.

In the modern day, the parents have been given a surprise trip, and they need to leave the children with Grandma, way out in the country. Dad complains that the children are addicted to their phones, and getting away from that can only be a good thing.

We see a bunch of people out in the woods carrying torches and singing; they wait for a man in a tree-cutting machine. This is an ancestral grove, a sacred place, and they don’t want the farmer to cut down the trees there. They’ve spiked the trees to keep him from cutting them down. The owner of the land complains that he’s got a lot of money invested in the land, and he needs those trees down.

Back at Grandma’s house, Mia and Kevin whine about not having anything to do without their phones. She puts them to work on the farm, and that’s just inconceivable to them. Grandma’s like, “If you don’t work, you don’t eat!”

The farmer gets a permit to cut down the trees, and the governor gives him a candle as a gift. The governor laments that the people on Facebook hate him. His advisors say he needs to figure out what the people want and get it for them, but he’s not into that. Men are there to take books from his office to the library.

The kids make some new local friends in the little town, Juuli and August, but the new kids don’t have phones either. They play outside, like barbarians. That night, Grandma tells them a story about when she was little. She decided to build herself a Kratt. A Kratt is a being you build to do your work for you, and they’ll bring you mountains of gold. The old Count lost his journal, which had the instructions for making a Kratt. Grandma was never able to find that book, so it never worked.

The next morning, the kids all go to the library. The governor goes next door to the blood-drive place, and there’s a bunch of people there protesting for the sacred woods. The governor says he wants to help, so he signs their petition and donates blood. He signs their petition to save the sacred forest. Mia finds the Count’s journal in the boxes from the governor’s place.

That night, the kids stay over at August and Juuli’s place, and their parents are some of the protesters. They take out the book and read the instructions. The next morning, back at Grandma’s they build the Kratt out of the junk that’s lying around.

That night, the kids break into the blood bank and steal a bag of blood to activate the Kratt. Satan’s Little Helper shows up to bargain with the children. He offers them fizzy drinks and fentanyl.

Grandma finds the Count’s journal, and she knows what it is. She finds the Kratt outside and tries to pull it down. It falls on her and impales her. Elsewhere, the farmer fires up his harvester and goes after the sacred trees. The four kids go home to find a pile of junk where Kratt stood and also Grandma’s glasses. Where is the old woman?

She’s inside, having grown wild hair. There’s a scythe stuck through her head, but that doesn’t keep her from working. Yes, she’s the Kratt now. “Give me work!” She insists. She does anything she’s told, as the Kratt was made for work.

We get a flashback to 1895, when the men run out of work for the Kratt. If you can’t keep it busy, then it kills you.

Back in modern times, Grandma Kratt starts stealing whole coolers full of sorbet and also the governor’s swimming pool. Before long, they’re knee-deep in gluten-free pancakes. They teach Grandma to skateboard. The governor is out riding his bike and notices that the sacred woods are gone; he falls right off his bike.

The Kratt wants work, even at midnight. She tries to kill Mia in her sleep but decides that she’s got the wrong blood. Same with Kevin. She starts smelling for the blood that activated her. She sees fireworks a long way off in the distance, so she eats some sauerkraut, grabs some matches, and lights an explosive fart that launches her all the way into town.

Meanwhile, the governor gets a lesson in how politics works; he’s to be replaced. The Kratt arrives, and she tells the governor to give her work. He tells her to punch his replacement in the face. She kills and dismembers the governor’s entire opposition for him.

The kids go to Lembit, August and Juuli’s father. He thinks that maybe they killed Grandma by accident and didn’t understand, so he goes over there. They call for help via Siri.

We cut to somewhere else entirely, where we see the first Estonian quantum computer. In order to take over the world it needs a soul, the man jokes. The Siri voice assistant has informed the American government that “it” has been found. The American agent calls the president.

Lembit goes to Grandma’s house looking for the old woman and finds a real mess; he then sets up a search party. The four kids go to church and talk the pastor into doing an exorcism, so he pulls out a flying drone that he uses to find parishioners who have gotten lost.

Mia and Kevin don’t know what to do, since their parents won’t answer the phone. Grandma returns and tries to kill them both when the pastor comes in. He ties up the Kratt and gets ready to exorcise her. “We need lots of candles!” he states. Lembit finds the sacred woods gone and attacks the farmer. The farmer shows him the signed permit. Now everyone is against the governor.

The governor goes back to his manor and sets his clothes and the house on fire. He applauds the gathering protestors. The naked governor gives them quite a show. Put THAT on Facebook! Lembit says suicide won’t help the governor, so they offer to help him down from the manor.

The Kratt cries for work, but the exorcism proceeds. She gives birth to tiny Satan. He drowns Satan in the pool and blows it up. The little Satan flies through the air and lands on top of Lembit and the governor.

The kids want Grandma brought back to life, but the pastor says it doesn’t work like that. Still, they all try to pray the dead away.

Meanwhile, the American helicopter lands at night, and soldiers storm in and take the Count’s book. They also manage to wake up the old dead woman.

When the parents return after their trip, everything is fine. The kids are about to tell the whole thing until they get their phones back, and then they don’t speak. Grandma is all cleaned up and healthy now.

Meanwhile, the Americans feed the Kratt’s soul to the quantum computer…

Commentary

I’ve gotta admit it; I’ve never seen anyone flying with explosive fart gas before. That was a major laugh for both of us.

It’s from Estonia. We don’t see much from there, so that makes this interesting in itself. The weird mix of old legends, rural farms, cell phones, drones, and quantum computers is really freaky. There’s just all kinds of oddball humor and stupid stuff going on in this town. Even the music is weird (read the subtitled lyrics).

It’s very weird, very funny, and has a lot of unexpected surprises.

We both liked this a lot.