- Directed by Justin Simien
- Written by Katie Dippold
- Stars Rosario Dawson, LaKeith Stanfield, Owen Wilson, Danny DeVito
- Run Time: 2 Hours, 3 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjLKTz81bj8
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
As the title implies, there’s a haunted mansion with many ghosts. But it’s more complicated than that as a band of misfits get trapped together and have to solve a bit of a supernatural mystery. The characters are likable, the story is fun, the effects are good, and it was better than we both expected. It’s long but never becomes tedious.
Synopsis
It’s New Orleans, which we are told is a very creepy place. We open on Ben Matthias, who tries to pick up a girl in a bar by talking about NASA’s telescope lenses. She’s Alyssa and says she gives ghost tours. Some time has passed, and now Ben is a ghost tour guide as well, which is odd because he insists there are no real ghosts. He’s… not very good at it. Credits roll.
Gabbie and her son, Travis, arrive at their new home after dark. It’s a creepy old mansion. Travis starts seeing ghostly things immediately. Gabbie tries to convince him it isn’t real– for about thirty seconds, then they both run to the car.
In the morning, Father Kent comes to visit Ben. Kent knows about a haunted house, but he wants a paranormal expert, such as Ben, who invented a camera that can see ghosts. We get a flashback to Ben showing Alyssa his “quantum lens” that was supposed to change their lives, but instead got him fired from NASA. Ben takes the job and drives to Gabbie and Travis’s house.
Gabbie and Travis sleep in a tent in the living room, “It’s just safer.” Ben doesn’t see anything and thinks Gabbie is playing a trick on him. Ben laughs and goes home, but soon learns that a ghost has followed him, a ghost that likes to watch “Deadliest Catch.” Not long after, Ben’s apartment becomes the ocean.
Ben comes back to the haunted mansion, and Gabbie says, “Right on time.” She explains that the ghosts followed them when they ran the first time too. Father Kent is there as well, he can’t leave because of his failed exorcism. With Ben’s help, they plan to figure out how many ghosts are in the house. When Ben leaves the living room after midnight, he’s on his own. He’s soon thoroughly convinced.
They go see Bruce, a professor, who says that the house just appeared one day long ago; it was never built. He wants to see the house, but he’s got a heart condition so they don’t want him to come. There’s also Harriet, a medium, who does come to the house and quickly regrets that choice.
The gang soon finds a hidden door with a “seance room” behind it. She calls upon William Gracey, the original owner of the house, and his ghost writes, “Talk to Leota.” When Harriet tries to summon Leota, the ghost drags her chair outside and dumps her in the mud. While they’re outside, Bruce arrives and goes inside alone. He, too, winds up in a chair outside, his on the highway.
The living room is getting more crowded at night since no one can really leave. Ben battles with an undead bride in the attic. He comes down with Madame Leota’s crystal ball and spellbook. Leota’s trapped inside the ball, but she tells her story anyway. Gracey hired her to do a seance every night for a year, and ghosts would continually follow them into this world. She says there are 933 souls in the house, and the bad guy needs 1000. Bruce mentions that 66 people have died since Leota went into the ball; the enemy only needs one more death to win and be able to leave the house.
Harriet wants to astral project herself into the spirit realm. While she tries unsuccessfully to do that, Ben floats off astrally into some ghostly shenanigans. He runs into Gracey’s ghost, but he doesn’t know the dark spirit’s name, but he knows all about what he wants. The evil spirit offers Ben anything he wants to become the last soul. Bruce later takes Ben to the police sketch artist to draw what the bad guy looks like. It’s Alistair Crump, a really bad dude from way back. Eventually, Crump’s own servants beheaded him. They determine that if they have something that he owned when he was alive, they can use it against him.
Crump’s real mansion is now a museum nearby. Before Ben can leave to go there, lots of crazy stuff happens, and Bruce appears to have a heart attack. Ben, Travis, and Kent make it out to the car and drive to Crump Manor, where they have a three-hour tour, hoping to steal something that belonged to Crump. The mariner’s ghost shows them a secret door, but only Travis can fit. Down there is where Crump hid all his victims’ bodies. He also finds Crump’s own beheaded skull and top hat – that will do. On the way home, Father Kent admits that he’s not really a priest; he’s a fake exorcist.
They return to the haunted mansion, where Bruce isn’t himself. He wants the hat, and there’s a quick fight over it. Bruce throws the hat into the fire and starts monologuing. Travis is outside in the car, “talking to his dead father.” Yes, the little kid is going to be Crump’s 1,000th willing soul.
The living can’t get out of the house, so they all split up. Harriet talks to Madame Leota; Kent tries an exorcism. Travis follows his “father’s” voice into the basement as everyone else runs around the house.
Ben catches up to Travis, and they have a heart-to-heart about why Travis needs to live. Crump talks to Ben, convincing him that he can save the others if he gives himself willingly to Crump. Inside, Kent talks to the huge group of ghosts and explains that they’ve all been conned. They need to rise up and fight Crump.
Crump has convinced Ben to die, but Harriet and Madame Leota arrive, along with all the ghosts. And Ben reveals he was faking it. Harriet does an incantation, and Crump goes down into his grave. The other ghosts all fade away. No, some of them decide to stay on– they’re the fun ghosts.
Ben goes home and adopts a cat. We watch the ghosts dancing on Halloween when everyone comes back for a visit.
Commentary
First, I am not familiar with either the Disney attraction nor the earlier version of the film. I was expecting a total comedy film. It does have a lot of humor, but it’s also likely to be scary for kids, so maybe not too young.
It’s got a bunch of familiar faces playing fairly standard roles, and they’re all good here. There are also many name-drops that are essentially product placement, and it happens often enough to be tacky.
The special effects are excellent; the creatures and ghosts would be right at home in any grown-up horror film. “It was way better than I expected,” Kevin said as I was writing this. He said it so I don’t have to, but that’s where I was going as well.