- Director: Fran Rubel Kuzui
- Writer: Joss Whedon
- Stars: Kristy Swanson, Donald Sutherland, Paul Reubens
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 26 Minutes
- Link: https://amzn.to/3rpBQAI
Synopsis
We get a history lesson from the Dark Ages about how Slayers are chosen to kill vampires. We fast forward to Buffy, a cheerleader, in the Lite Ages. Credits roll. We see various characters as we zoom around the pep rally in the gym.
Buffy and her friends go to the mall, where they run into a trench coat guy who acts creepy. That night, one of the jocks goes to the closed carnival alone. Later, he’s reported as killed by a “really gross hickey.”
We flash back to the Dark Ages again, and watch vampires Lothos and Amilyn kill the Slayer of that time.
Pike and Benny are the two drunk students. Amilyn bites Benny, while the trench coat guy rescues Pike. Buffy does acrobatic cheerleader stuff in the gym, and the trench coat guy introduces himself as Merrick. He’s been searching everywhere for her to bring her her birthright. He wants her to come with him to the graveyard and learn to “stop the vampires.” She doesn’t fall for that line.
Merrick asks her about her dreams, and that does connect with her. She always dreams about fighting Lothos in the past. They go to the graveyard and wait next to a grave of someone who died three days ago. Sure enough, the guy crawls out of the grave and Merrick attacks, but gets beaten up. Buffy stakes two vampires that night, almost as if she was born to do it.
Benny goes to visit Pike, and Benny has pointy ears and fangs now. Pike won’t let him in. The next day, Buffy doubts anything happened last night. Merrick throws a knife at her head, and she catches it in mid-air. Cue the training montage.
Pike’s leaving town, as it’s getting pretty weird there now. Buffy starts patrolling the alleys in town and killing vampires. Merrick explains that he’s reborn repeatedly, and his job is to train Slayers. Meanwhile, Pike runs into some vampires on the road. There’s a running battle between him and Amilyn, who ends up losing an arm. Buffy intervenes and kills Amilyn’s henchmen. She takes Pike home with her and explains about vampires. Meanwhile, Lothos scolds Amilyn for losing an arm; “I don’t know how you made it through the crusades,” he says.
There’s a basketball game, and one of the players is a vampire. Buffy ends up chasing him on a motorcycle, and Pike follows alone a ways behind. They fight and beat a trio of vampires. Lothos and Amilyn are there, and she meets them both. Lothos takes Merrick’s stake and kills him.
Buffy asks if her friends have noticed anything weird lately, and they’re completely oblivious. Pike wants to fight vampires, but Buffy wants to quit. Benny overhears them arguing, and now the vampires know who the chosen one is. Lothos plans to appear at the big dance this Saturday to make his move.
The night of the dance arrives. Buffy and Pike kiss, and then the vampires arrive. A bunch of vampires, but Pike brought stakes, so that’s OK. She leads them away from the school, and Amilyn attacks Buffy. She stakes Amilyn (in the best vampire death scene of all cinema) while Lothos plays his violin.
They move back to the school gym, and Lothos breaks in with his sword. He does his villainous monologue and then Buffy stabs him with a chair leg. Buffy and Pike dance. Later, they ride off on his motorcycle; a happy ending.
Commentary
The special effects here are purposely cheesy and silly, as are most of the jokes. I’ve seen the TV series multiple times, and it’s obvious where many of the series’ tropes came from; it feels a little unoriginal coming backwards to the film like that, but it’s important to remember which was first. This one is clearly aimed more at the comedy side of the story than the series was.
It was a product of the 80s released in the early 90s, and it hasn’t really aged well. A lot of the humor is based on pop culture and trends from those days. It’s pretty tame overall, and it’s not really all that funny today.