- Directed by John De Bello
- Written by Costa Dillon, John De Bello, J Stephen Peace
- Stars David Miller, George Wilson, Sharon Taylor
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 23 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txfdGlxEsG8
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
Like tomatoes being thrown at you, this movie is a non-stop barrage of jokes and silly things. Some are subtle, some are obvious, some stick, some fall flat, some are dated, some are timeless. But there are a lot of them. Almost to the point of it being fatiguing. But chuckles are to be had, and if you’re in the mood for an over-the-top spoof, you might want to check this one out.
Spoilery Synopsis
We are told about Alfred Hitchock’s “The Birds” and how people laughed– until it really happened. What could happen next? It’s the present day of 1978, and a woman sees a grumbling tomato climb out of her sink and roll across the floor to get her. Credits roll, including a catchy song!
The police find the dead woman, covered in blood– no, it’s not blood, it’s tomato juice. The radio tells us that the tomato crops have been growing at an unprecedented rate. We get a montage of people talking about tomatoes killing their relatives.
We cut to the farm where a helicopter crashes behind the police’s defensive line. It’s like a war zone. The President wants an investigation, and he wants Mason Dixon to investigate the situation. There are incidents of tomato attacks all over the country.
The generals all assemble in the smallest possible conference room to debate the situation. Dr. Nokitofa explains the plan, and he’s very obviously badly dubbed. There are a few translation… difficulties.
Mason Dixon arrives, and he’s introduced to his team of “experts.” We cut to the beach, where a bunch of tomatoes have seen “Jaws” and re-enact their favorite scenes. There’s a Senate investigation, but one guy gets left out.
Ace reporter Lios Fairchild watches as a bike racer is eaten by a herd of tomatoes. She’s then assigned to check out the real story behind the tomatoes. She confronts Dixon about what he knows.
Jim Richardson, the President’s Press Secretary, goes to talk to a publicity guy who is a walking infomercial– at least until he breaks into song. He then gets started on the world’s ultimate commercial.
Dixon gets a call; they’ve captured a giant tomato. Now we cut to scenes of people being assaulted by giant tomatoes.
Sam Smith, the disguise expert, infiltrates the tomato camp and listens to the tomatoes making plans. There’s a campfire hangout that works well for him until he slips up and asks for someone to pass the ketchup for his hotdog. His cover is blown. Then it’s time for the army to sing a song about crushing the tomatoes. Lots and lots of stuff happens with Dixon in the desert. Jim Richardson confronts Dixon; he thinks he can control the tomatoes.
Finally, we get a crowd of people assembled as the giant tomatoes approach. Dixon gets to the stadium to play the song “Puberty Love” at top volume, and the tomatoes retreat [they really could have used some Slim Whitman]. The people charge out, stomping all the tomatoes underfoot. Lois, however, is attacked by the giantest tomato of all, and this one’s wearing earmuffs to block out the singing. Dixon shows the song’s sheet music, and that has the same effect.
Lois and Mason fall instantly in love and sing one more song to each other. After they walk off into the sunset, the carrots start planning their move…
Commentary
Many of these actors never worked on a movie before; many of them never worked again. It’s a non-stop barrage of jokes, both spoken and visual. There are almost too many jokes; some hit and some miss, but there are a lot of them. Most are pretty dated or not especially funny, and it gets old fast. There’s really only barely a story, it’s more like a bunch of loosely connected skits.
Too many silly jokes. Not enough killer tomatoes. I was bored to tears after twenty minutes. I’m sure I’d have thought this was hilarious when I was six years old, but not so much now.