Director: Aaron K. Carter
Writers: Aaron K. Carter, Ronnie Jimenez
Stars: Mel Novak, Frankie Pozos, Aaron Guerrero
Run Time: 1 Hour, 36 Minutes
Amazon Link: https://amzn.to/2wvRtPn
Synopsis
Frankie walks into a bar and wants to talk to the owner, who is not available. Meanwhile, a guy named Gio breaks in and kills all the bigwigs in the back room while Frankie keeps the bartender occupied. They leave and get in the car, obviously working together.
Gio goes in to see Mr. Kinski, who isn’t happy that Mr. Arash has gotten away from their carefully-planned hit. He says someone tipped off Arash, and he thinks it’s Frankie. Kinski gives Gio one hour to “take care of” the problem. Gio goes outside and tells Frankie, “We have one hour to kill.” Frankie, of course, is oblivious to all this.
As they drive, Frankie tells the story of an old Nazi bunker located right there in Hollywood. The son of one of those Nazis was never found, and may still be hiding there. This is the lead-in to “Valkyrie’s Bunker,” the first segment of this anthology, which takes place in 1981. Five girls go into the bunker looking for drugs (or something) that are supposed to be hidden there. They split up, and the girls start disappearing one by one…
Frankie and Gio go out for tacos on the way to the hit, and Frankie tells another story. This one concerns a foodie with hopes of winning a ten-pound burrito eating contest. This second tale is called “Assacre.” The contestants have ten minutes and are not allowed a bathroom break (in only ten minutes?). The burritos look normal and yummy, but there’s no way those things are ten pounds. Two of the guys decide to take revenge on the winner by employing the hottest of peppers. The guy can’t resist becoming “The King of Peppers” and eats one. The thing is, I’ve seen this all happen for real on YouTube… with nearly the same result!
Finally, it’s Gio’s turn to tell a story. He tells the story of “The Hog Hunters.” Farmer Zed loves his prize hog a little too much. He tells the hog, “No one teases me like you do. I’m gonna give you something tonight. You’re gonna squeal for me.” Elsewhere, three bowlers welcome Lenny, a new member, to their team. Still, Lenny has to pass the initiation ritual, so it’s time to slam a hog! A couple of the guys start singing “We’re going hog hunting” while wearing pig snouts. Then they head off to Farmer Zed’s house…
Then we get back to Gio and Frankie. It’s time for Gio to kill Frankie, but Gio thinks he may have another idea. Will he save the day or become a sacrifice himself?
Commentary
It’s well shot, well-lit, and mostly well written. I like a lot of humor in my horror, but the stories here are more edging into the realm of silliness. I think I learned one important fact while watching this film: I don’t drink enough for this job. Seriously, you’d have to be pretty plastered to enjoy the first segment, but if you were, you would. Just a suggestion for when you watch it…
After the godawful first segment, I did laugh at the second one with the hot pepper, but still came to the conclusion at that point that the movie really wasn’t going to be that good. At least that’s what I was thinking until “Hog Hunters” came on. It’s just so out-of-nowhere and well-filmed that I couldn’t not like it once I finished laughing. It’s worth sitting through the rest of the film just for this segment.
The third story was awesome, and the wraparound story was a little hammy, but decently acted.
Hammy– you see what I did there?