2025 Popeye the Slayer Man

• Directed by Robert Michael Ryan
• Written by Cuyle Carvin, John Dooan, Jeff Miller
• Stars Jason Robert Stephens, Sarah Nickin, Angela Relucio
• Run Time: 1 Hour, 28 Minutes
• Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGO32Zmh2YI

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

This take on the character was surprisingly good. The practical effects are well done, and Popeye looks cartoon realistic if a little unexpressive. There’s a little dark humor around the edges, but it’s mostly very serious. The story itself is pretty standard slasher fare, but all in all we liked it quite a bit.

Spoilery Synopsis

A woman runs through the foggy oceanside town toward a locked warehouse. She breaks the lock and rushes inside the cannery. Two men are chasing her, but one of them has heard stories about this place and is hesitant to follow her inside. The woman, Adrienne, stops when she sees a bulk man with big arms standing in the shadows. The bad men corner her until an empty can of spinach rolls into view. The hugely strong monster of a man tears one of the baddies in half and crushes the skull of the other. She calls him a monster, and he says “I am what I am.” Credits roll. 

Dexter is making a documentary about “The Sailor Man,” a local legend. Dexter clearly likes Olivia, and Lisa seems to like Seth. “They say the Sailor Man is still out there, roaming the docks.” Dexter has arranged for all his friends to show up to the docks and help with his film.

Mr. Allister meets with Margo, a woman whose clients want to buy and demolish the old cannery. The place has been empty for twenty years, and that might be due to the hazardous contamination under the factory. And what about that crazy ghost story about the Sailor Man? They smell pipe smoke, and Allister goes off to investigate. Turns out, she was scared by Angus, the maintenance man for the property. 

Angus, left in the building alone, does a security sweep before locking up. He finds what’s left of the two baddies from the pre-credit sequence. As he leaves them, he sees the Sailor Man, who squishes his head.  

Dexter, Olivia, and Katie talk about the Sailor Man, and one of the drinkers there, Bernie, growls out the tale for them. Jesse and Terry come in, and they’re all over Olivia. Joey is Katie’s abusive boyfriend. 

The young people all arrive at the cannery, and Olivia picks the lock. Dexter, Lisa, Katie, Olivia, and Seth go inside. Back at the bar, Joey, Terry, and Jesse talk about the Sailor Man and they plan to go to the cannery to get Katie. 

Lisa and Seth split off and explore on their own, and they run into trouble with a spinach can. Dexter and Olivia explore as well while Katie watches the security monitors. Outside, Margot shows up and wonders what all the cars are outside for. She finds Angus’s remains and then sees the Sailor, who comes after her. After ripping a chunk of her scalp off, he shuts her in a compactor and turns it on. 

Going through the papers, Dexter figures out that that plant closed due safety issues and a spinach infection. Dangerous labels of bacteria in the food could have had good outcomes. Alistairs owns the cannery and the newspaper, so there must be a coverup. Lisa and Seth return, and they all smell pipe smoke. They read the old rhyme about “Popeye the Sailor Man,” something they’ve all heard. 

Back in the office, Lisa spots Popeye and runs. “He’s real!” She runs straight into the arms of Joey, who bullies her. The Sailor Man arrives on the scene, and Jesse stabs him to no effect. When the Sailor man crushes his head, we see where the name “Pop-Eye” came from. 

Terry tries to drive away, but Popeye lifts the car up so he can’t escape. He steps on a gnarly nail but keeps on going. The Sailor Man drags a huge anchor and uses it to behead Jesse. “Anchors away,” he grunts. 

Lisa and Seth find Jesse’s body and decide it’s time to go. Joey has a gun and shoots Katie by mistake. Everyone runs in panic, and Seth falls off a ladder. He doesn’t suffer long, as Popeye impales him with some rebar. Lisa soon follows in exactly the same way. 

Dexter and Olivia find the Sailor Man’s lair and even an old photo of him when he was human with his family. His wife, Olive Oyl, was the whistleblower for the cannery’s contamination, and she disappeared shortly after breaking the story. They watch as Popeye comes in and downs a can of radioactive spinach. It’s toxic and has mutated that poor sailor man. 

Dexter and Olivia come across Katie and Seth’s bodies and know it’s time to go. We see Joey is still wandering around with his gun. Dexter walks right into Popeye, who grabs him until Olivia shouts, “Let him go!” which he does, but not before breaking Dexter’s arm badly. Olivia thinks the monster isn’t trying to hurt them, he’s just protecting his home. Dexter wonders why the Sailor listened to Olivia, and it also looked like Olivia recognized that picture of the Sailor’s wife. 

Olivia talks to Popeye. “You recognize me, don’t you? Daddy?” He nods. “My Swee-Pea?!” Just then, Joey shoots Popeye. Olivia tells Popey that the spinach is destroying his mind. When Joey threatens Olivia, he rips Joey’s arm off and beats him to death with the bloody stump. 

Dexter and Olivia make it outside and find Katie, who’s not dead. Police and ambulances soon arrive. Dexter and Olivie promise to come back for Popeye and get him some help. 

Later, Mr. Allister talks to the buyers who cancelled the sale. He still plans to demolish the cannery. He kicks a can of spinach and then runs into the big man himself. “I yam what I yam,” he says as he crushes the corrupt businessman’s head. 

Brian’s Commentary

The prosthetics and practical gore effects are good. Maybe not exactly lifelike or expressive, but they do the job. Popeye gets a few zingers, but he’s really hard to understand; fortunately he doesn’t talk much. 

I liked the Wympee cameo. We did get spinach, a corn cob pipe, and some catchphrases. Other than some over-the-top deaths, there wasn’t as much humor here as I would have liked, it’s a pretty typical stalker/slasher film, just with a more well-known antagonist. 

For a public-domain cash grab, it’s not too bad. It’s got a full coherent story that all makes sense. The closing credits have a banging theme song, and I’d totally be up for a sequel to this one. 

Kevin’s Commentary

I’m glad they went with practical effects here, I think that helped a lot. Popeye looks decent enough, but maybe a little on the rubbery side. It’s got a decent story and moves well, with just enough references to the classic cartoon here and there. I give it a thumbs up.