- Directed by Steven Kostanski
- Written by Steven Kostanski
- Stars Conor Sweeney, Kristy Wordsworth, Adam Brooks
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 25 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWIyVleAQL0
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
This is more crazy comedic science fiction than horror. After a little bit of a slow start and set up, things get wild with the appearance of Frankie and his pals. The creature puppets are awesome, the script is silly, and it’s very fun. We both enjoyed it a lot.
Spoilery Synopsis
Conor’s boss, Mr. Buechler, says his planned presentation is bland and boring; he needs to “spice it up.” Conor is bland and boring, but he also takes the comment personally.
Conor goes home to Kristina, who wants to have some sexy time. She’s a little too sexy, and he doesn’t even make it to the undressing stage. She calls him bland too as well as “square.” He doesn’t listen to her, since the antiques roadshow is on the TV. Conor gets upset when someone on the show swears. Yeah, he’s pretty uncool. Then he sees a 1-900-number that promises to spice up his life. Something in the ad appeals to Conor, who keeps telling himself, “I am not a square.”
The next day at the meeting, Conor hands out party hats for his very boring presentation. The meeting goes badly, and he hallucinates the people in the meeting becoming ugly little trolls. Afterward, the boss wants Conor to come in on Saturday to shred some evidence for him– on camera. Kristina is going on a trip for the weekend; she jokes, “Have a freaky weekend.”
As Conor cleans the house, not being square at all, he keeps seeing ads for Frankie Freako. He gives in and calls the number, as thunder and lightning appear from nowhere. The kitchen suddenly gets all windy, but Conor shouts, “I’m ready to party!”
Conor wakes up in the morning, and there’s caffeinated soda cans all over the house. Did he do that? The house has graffiti all over it. He goes into the kitchen and sees Frankie Freako and his friends in there making a mess. They have polaroids of Conor freaking out with them last night. One of them shoots Conor in the neck, and he gets all bloody. The three ugly little puppets then smash one of Kristina’s prized statues, and then Conor knows he’s in trouble.
Conor beats up Boink, one of the creatures, who dies. Conor apologizes. It’s all another prank, Boink isn’t dead, and Kristina loses more statues. He tells them all to leave, but they ignore him, so he pulls out a cross, as if they were vampires. Frankie turns into a horrible demonic thing and knocks Conor out.
Mr. Buechler calls and guilt-trips Conor into coming into work right now. Buechler hides behind a desk and tells Conor what to do. Before Conor can shred the documents, Frankie calls him on the phone. Buechler goes home with Conor to see what the commotion is all about. He thinks Conor did it all to himself. They search the house, and Conor’s guns and bear trap have gone missing.
Buechler soon finds the bear trap the hard way. Conor finds other booby traps, the even-harder way. Buechler then gets doused in glue and stuck to the floor. Kristina calls and says Conor sounds stressed. He takes the gun and finds the Freakos in bed asleep; he can’t bring himself to execute them.
Frankie turns on the TV, and there’s a little narrated documentary about Freakworld and it’s inhabitants. President Munch enslaved the Freakos, all except for the three Freaks that Conor knows. Conor gives in and gets freaky with the Freakos.
The phone rings, and Conor answers it, even though Frankie warns him not to. The whole house glows red and a portal opens. “They found us!” Robotic Freako-killers come through the portal and shoot everywhere. Conor finds that he can’t leave the house. They take everyone into custody and drag them through the portal.
Connor finds himself on Freakworld, a place of stop-motion people and puppets. They dress Conor up as President Munch’s new concubine and take him to the big man’s office. The president plans to torture Dottie to get at Freddy. Munch tells Crunch to bring the Dial of Doom and demonstrate it. The machine melts Munch. When it’s Conor’s turn, he’s too square and bland to make the machine work.
Meanwhile, Boink hotwires one of the robots to shoot the others. Frankie, Boink, and Conor use the distraction to run outside, but Dottie has been brainwashed to work against them. Frankie convinces her to fight with him again. Back in his office, President Munch mutates into something new…
The Freaks and Conor break back into Conor’s living room, causing more damage along the way. Munch follows them and he’s got a chainsaw. Conor seduces the president and leads him away. Conor leads him to the basement and into the booby trap array that is still there. It doesn’t work as well as expected. Boink pulls out a cross, and Freddie’s demonic side makes Munch burst into flame and die.
Conor learns to like Fart Cola. Kristina calls to say she’ll be home early, in just under an hour. The foursome get to work with a cleaning montage, but it’s a hopeless mess. Kristina comes inside, and the Freaks hide. She asks what happened, and he plays dumb until the Freaks reveal themselves. She says it’s all “totally fine.” She used to be Dottie’s roommate back in gun college. She’s good friends with the Freaks, and she’s the one who brought them into all this in the first place.
It’s all good. Then we cut to Buechler, still stuck to the floor in the basement.
Brian’s Commentary
I want to know where I can buy some Fart Cola.
The puppets are really well done and all have distinctive personalities. The storyline is just insane, but it all actually kinda makes sense in the end. I’m not convinced that this is “horror” in any way, but it’s definitely funny and weird.
Kevin’s Commentary
This was a lot of fun. Definitely more science fiction than horror, but it’s got some horror elements. The puppets are very obviously puppets, but they work for this really well. I liked it.