- Directed by Robert Rodriguez
- Written by Robert Kurtzman, Quentin Tarantino
- Stars Harvey Keitel, George Clooney, Juliette Lewis
- Run Time: 1 Hour, 48 Minutes
- Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNuIn4T-CLk
Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone
The first chunk of this is a crime spree movie. Then suddenly – vampires! It’s very well put together, often offbeat and over-the-top. It was our second viewing, and we still liked it a lot. If you want a fun movie, check this one out.
Spoilery Synopsis
A Texas ranger stops in at the local liquor store in the desert. He complains about the weather to the clerk. The ranger’s had a bad morning, and goes on and on about how he doesn’t like potato head Mongoloids. There was also a bank robbery in Abilene where four people were killed. The robbers might be heading this way toward the border.
When the ranger goes to the restroom, we see that the two robbers and their hostages are right there in the store. Seth Gecko is normal enough, but Richard Gecko seems like a psychopath. This is obvious when he lies about the clerk signalling the cop and shoots them both. Before dying, the clerk manages to shoot Richard in the hand. Together, the brothers are especially lethal. As they leave, the building explodes excessively. Credits roll.
They stop at a cheap motel and unload the bank teller they have in the trunk. Seth explains the rules to the terrified Gloria. We get a news report showing us just how bad the brothers are: sixteen dead so far. FBI Agent Chase is confident that they’ll catch the brother soon.
We cut to the Fuller family, Jacob, Kate, and Scott, out on a road trip in their RV. Jacob’s a pastor, but he’s recently lost his wife and his faith, and he’s quit his job. He wants to sleep in a real bed, so they take their RV to the motel. They almost run over Seth in the parking lot.
We cut back to the brothers, as Seth returns with food to find that Richard has raped and killed Gloria. Even though he knows his brother’s a lunatic.
Richard knocks on Jacob’s door. He and Seth come in and hold Jacob , Kate, and Scott at gunpoint. Richie immediately becomes obsessed with Kate. Everyone loads into the RV and heads down the road. They encounter a roadblock, but Jacob and Scott play along to stay safe. They pull it off and cross the border into Mexico.
They drive for the rest of the evening and stop at a strip bar. It’s not a subtle place, open dusk till dawn, with bikers all over the place. The guys beat up the doorman and go inside. It’s a stripper bar with lots of naked women, and Jacob and his family aren’t the usual clientele. Seth and Richard, on the other hand, love the place. The bartender says it’s a private bar, and that the brothers need to leave. Once again, Jacob helps out.
As the group drinks, we get a look at the various other patrons of the place: Razor Charlie, Frost, and Sex Machine. Soon, it’s time for the big dance number, Santanico Pandemonium! She comes out and does a whole striptease with a snake. We soon learn why Quentin Tarantino is a well-known foot fetishist.
The doorman, apparently recovered, comes inside and points out the brothers. Soon, there’s shooting and stabbing and things are looking bad as the brothers get violent. None of the patrons seem too upset. Richard’s hand starts bleeding again, and the patrons get excited. They shoot the doorman repeatedly.
Suddenly, Santanico turns into a giant lizard woman and attacks Richard, biting him in the neck. He very quickly dies. Then the doorman and several other corpses get up and attack again; they’re vampires. This whole place is a vampire bar. The vamps turn on the human patrons, and it’s a huge, out-of-nowhere brawl. Kate takes the cross off her neck and kills the doorman with it. Frost and Sex Machine are also very good human fighters, and they rack up a bunch of dead vampires, including Razor Charlie and Santanico.
Things eventually calm down just a bit, and Seth, Jacob, Frost, and Sex Machine end up working together against the vampires. All the vampire bodies suddenly self-combust.
Seth says goodbye to his dead brother, but then Richard turns into a vamp and gets up again. Seth stakes him personally. The group is locked inside the place, and they hear millions of bats outside. More of the dead humans turn into vampires, and the battle resumes. Sex Machine gets bitten in the arm, but it’s not bad.
The group discusses the rules of vampires and how to kill them. Seth points out that Jacob is a man of God, and that could be useful. Seth literally gives a pep talk about religion to get Jacob’s faith back. Frost tells us all his old war stories and Sex Machine starts to hear voices, get sweaty, and grow fangs. He soon sneaks up and bites Both Frost and Jacob before getting thrown through the door. Frost then turns into a monster very quickly as Seth, Kate, and Scott hide in the back room.
Back in the main room, Jacob faces off against a hundred vampires, with only a cross and a shotgun to help him. He makes his way back to the storeroom with the others. They go through the boxes of stuff to find weapons and useful things. They find all sorts of neat things.
Once they are ready, they open the door and force their way out to the main room. The four humans fight back, and they kill a lot of vampires, including Frost and Sex Machine, who have returned.
The battle ends, and Jacob becomes a vampire. He bites Scott, who melts his father with holy water. Scott’s torn apart by other vamps. There are still a lot of vamps as Seth and Kate notice the sun rising outside.
Seth’s Mexican partners come to the door and break in. They let in enough sunlight to kill the rest of the vamps. Seth and Carlos argue about why they chose this place to meet.
Seth and Carlos complete their business. Kate wants to go with Seth, but he refuses, leaving her behind. Kate drives away in the RV, and we see the backside of the strip club. It’s built on the roof of an ancient pyramid!
Brian’s Commentary
This was a regular old crime thriller for the first hour, with no real weirdness at all other than the two murderous brothers. Not long after getting to the strip club, we learn that there’s a whole lot more going on. It’s got lots of familiar faces, including some nobodies who became much bigger stars later.
Everything inside the club is so ridiculously over-the-top that it’s hard to take too seriously, but that doesn’t keep it from being fun. The creature effects are excellent, and the “hero” vampires are all interesting and fun to watch.
The acting here is all top-notch, especially for a horror film. Somehow, Cheech Marin got to play three roles. Danny Trejo, Fred Williamson, and Tom Savini play patrons and vamps, and those guys are always fun to watch. It was successful enough that it spawned two film sequels and a TV series.
It’s a fun classic!
Kevin’s Commentary
I think I enjoyed it even more on this second viewing. It’s held up very well for entertainment value. It has that Tarantino vibe to it, plus his foot fetish. I’d recommend it for a fun vampire movie with a lot of action.
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